It hurts to fall again

Again in life,
I fell into a deep pitfall,
A pitfall full of questions,
A pitfall full of decisions,
to make and not to be left alone,
For this heart hurts so much with every dying minutes,
Every second that flew,
without things to do,
I felt the presence of you,
Long has it been the last I felt such intensity,
Yet I knew this is as grandiose as it could possibly be,
For I'm not able to make such spending spree,
To tell or not to tell thee.

If only thee and I not so different,
For the gap between us are,
beyond the limit that I could bare.

And due such,
I am burning,
I am dying,
bit by bit inside,
My heart ponders on choices at hand,
One seems likelier than the other,
But the likelier one kills my standing altar,
For choosing to shut means letting myself die,
And letting my heart cry,
With invinsible tears that I could only wish you could see...

And dear,
Believe me when I say this,
It sure hurts to fall again.